How I Build Trust, Balance Medicine, and Connect with My Patients

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As a reproductive endocrinologist, I know firsthand how deeply personal and emotional fertility care can be. 

My own experience with secondary infertility and pregnancy loss has shaped the way I practice medicine, but it’s not just about medical expertise—it’s about connection, empathy, and ensuring every patient feels seen and supported.

In this article, I’ll share how I build trust with my patients, create personal connections without overextending myself, and balance my professional and personal responsibilities. 

I’ll also discuss the power of social media in educating and supporting both patients and aspiring physicians. 

Whether you're looking to strengthen patient relationships or manage your time more effectively, I hope my insights help you find fulfillment in your practice while maintaining your well-being.

Building Trust Through Shared Experiences

When I was going through my own fertility struggles, I was in fellowship, and a colleague told me, “This is going to make you a better doctor.” At the time, I wasn’t in the right headspace to hear it—but now, I see how true it is.

As physicians, we don’t have to experience everything our patients go through to be great at what we do. A cardiologist doesn’t need to have a heart attack to treat heart disease. But in fertility medicine, the emotional weight of infertility can be as devastating as a cancer diagnosis. Because I’ve been there myself, I have an intimate understanding of the physical, emotional, and financial toll that fertility treatment can take.

That perspective has made me deeply committed to treating patients the way I would want to be treated. I don’t open every patient consult by sharing my own story, but when I sense it’s helpful, I’ll acknowledge my experience. 

When’s the Right Time to Share?

If a patient is going through something particularly difficult—like a miscarriage or a tough round of IVF—I may say, “I know how hard this is. I’ve been there.” When discussing certain aspects of treatment, I might offer insight from my own journey, like how I personally felt during an IVF cycle. These moments help patients feel less alone and reassure them that I truly understand what they’re experiencing.

It’s not about making my story the center of their care—it’s about helping them feel less alone.

That said, not every patient needs or wants to hear my personal story. Some just want medical expertise and a clear treatment plan. I aim to be intuitive about when to share, ensuring that my personal experience never overshadows their unique journey.

While shared experiences can be powerful, they should never become the focus of patient care. I don’t bring up my personal history unless I feel it will help a patient in the moment. I also recognize that every fertility journey is different—just because I went through something doesn’t mean my patient will experience it the same way.

Additionally, social media has made it easier for patients to learn about my background before even stepping into my office. Many already know my story from Instagram or TikTok, and for some, that initial connection is helpful. But in my clinical interactions, I always prioritize listening to the patient’s needs first.

Using Social Media to Educate and Connect

Social media has been a game-changer in medicine. With over 1.2 million followers across platforms, I use my online presence to provide accurate medical information and combat misinformation. My content covers everything from fertility myths to period education with my daughter.

Patients often find me online before they even step into my office. Some already know my story before we meet, and that can build trust before our first consultation. Social media allows me to educate beyond my practice walls, helping people who may not have direct access to fertility specialists.

Of course, balancing personal and professional content is key. I always ask my children’s permission before posting their photos, and when sharing patient stories (like baby pictures patients send me), I get explicit consent and save it for documentation. Even when I post sperm analysis videos, everything is de-identified.

Small Personal Touches Make a Big Difference

In a busy fertility practice, patients can feel like just another number. I never want that to happen. I make a deliberate effort to get to know my patients—not just their diagnoses, but who they are as people.

When a patient tells me about an upcoming trip or a family event, I add a note to their chart. The next time I see them, I can ask, “How was your trip to Italy?” or “How’s your mom doing after surgery?” These small moments of connection remind them that I see them as more than their fertility journey.

I also believe in the power of a name. I use my patients’ names in conversation because it fosters a sense of familiarity and care. And when patients go through the often-impersonal process of ultrasounds, blood work, and procedures, I ensure they know I’m involved every step of the way.

One of the most impactful things I do is personally call my patients with key updates—pregnancy test results, embryo reports, or anything that needs extra explanation. Even though I’m the most productive physician in my 11-doctor practice, I make time for these calls because I know how much they mean. It takes only a few minutes, but it reassures my patients that I’m closely following their case and that they are a priority to me.

Key Takeaway: Patients don’t just want good medical care—they want to feel known and cared for. A simple “How’s your mom?” or a personal phone call can make a world of difference.

Managing Time Without Burnout

Balancing clinical work, social media, leadership roles, and personal life is no small feat. Over time, I’ve learned to structure my days in a way that maximizes efficiency while protecting my well-being.

I also don’t do it all myself. I don’t cook dinner—I have help for that. My kids make their own breakfast and lunch. I’ve learned that outsourcing what doesn’t bring me joy or isn’t essential allows me to focus on what truly matters.

Here are some strategies that have worked for me:

Time Blocking

I organize my day with dedicated blocks for procedures, consultations, and reviewing results. I personally call patients with key updates, which strengthens trust without disrupting my workflow. Since I schedule these calls intentionally, they take only a few minutes but make a lasting impact.

Batching Tasks

To manage social media efficiently, I batch content creation, often filming 20 videos in one sitting. This prevents it from interfering with my clinical work and ensures I have a steady stream of educational content ready to go. If I don’t have time to edit immediately, I simply save it for later.

Setting Boundaries

I check email only once a day—sometimes every other day—to stay focused on patient care. My team knows to call if something is urgent, and I give my personal email to patients for important concerns. This approach prevents distractions while still allowing me to be accessible when needed.

Prioritizing Personal Time

To avoid burnout, I make time for what recharges me—like horseback riding every day except Mondays. I also protect my schedule by ensuring I don’t work long stretches without a break. By setting these boundaries, I can sustain both my career and personal well-being for the long term.

Final Thoughts: Be Kind to Yourself

For years, I felt like I wasn’t enough—wasn’t productive enough, wasn’t present enough, wasn’t doing enough for my family. It took me until my 40s to truly embrace the fact that I am enough.

As women in medicine, we hold ourselves to incredibly high standards. We want to be the best doctors, the best moms, the best partners. But perfection isn’t possible. Instead of chasing an unattainable ideal, we need to be kind to ourselves and recognize all the incredible things we’re already doing.

If you take one thing from this article, let it be this: You don’t have to be perfect to be an amazing physician, mother, or person. You are enough.

What’s one small change you can make this week to set a boundary, add a personal touch with a patient, or be kinder to yourself? Start there.

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